Greetings, yo.

HEY! I am running a special on Shards! I usually sell them for 3 bucks. But because you're beautiful and cuz I just got a bunch from the printer, I'll sell 'em to you for only 2 dollars a pop. Hurry and get #8, still in its first print run, free!

SHARDS OF GLASS IN YOUR EYE! is a humor + random zine featuring offbeat insights from an unconventional observer. Each issue features funny essays, sarcastic commentary, and extras like games and celebrity sightings. Have a fun read! LAUGH MORE!

To purchase Shards (#3-#9; more info below), paypal $2 per issue to shardsofglassinyoureye@gmail.com. In the comment area on PayPal, specify which issue(s) you want and your mailing address. Thanks!

BIO

Hi, I'm Kari.  My humor + random zine, which I started in 1995, is called Shards Of Glass In Your Eye! The first two issues were slap-dash one-nighters thrown together in fits of creative frustration. Each issue was a collection of absolutely nothing of consequence.  Resurrected in 2010, Issues 3-9 continue in that tradition.  You won't learn how to manage your money.  You won't be inspired to lose 20 pounds in 20 days.  You won't read the trenchant political analysis of a Capitol Hill insider, or be gripped by the harrowing story of a rock-climbing quadruple amputee.  

But you will get a personalized psychic reading, and you'll find out what's not on the official Beverly Hills walking tour map.  Grammar Nazis got you down?  I've written a lecture to them on your behalf. Sing along with me to The Domestically-Challenged Blues. Take a psychological quiz. Learn one simple rule for dating a guy from a rock band. Plus, there's diets for the desperate, celebrity sightings, a series of fond reminiscenses, and a couple of serious ones (like "In Defense of Thin Women") too. You even get a word search puzzle.

Is it lazy if I refer you to my Zine Wiki page for descriptions of each issue? Probably, yes. Try to think of it as data storage space preservation. But there's some sample material below. My Zine Wiki page is hyah: http://zinewiki.com/Shards_of_glass_in_your_eye%21

SAMPLE MATERIAL

#3 (Disco Ball Party Zine): From "Scintillating True Confessions!" Is energy wasted on little kids? Yes. They should be replaced with compact fluorescent kids. Do you dot your is and cross your ts? Your mom's a ts.

#4 (Sex Sells): From "Why Grammar Nazis Need to Chill": Good writers get to smugly fan their writing feathers on a daily basis and look super smart, while lesser writers struggle in shame. But remember: One of your strengths might be writing, but the struggling writer can probably do something cool that you can't. Like, maybe you can't play basketball, or you're really fucking annoying.

#5 (Heart Attack): Everyone has a place in the world: Without people who take themselves too seriously, there would be nobody to listen to Sting.

#6 (Collated Zine Supplement): Kari's Diary: Dear Diary: Earlier, I stabbed my finger right through with my cat's insulin needle. This is how super-powers begin. I bet I'm going to turn into a puma.

#7 (Pony Up): From "To Kill A Vegan Vampire, Attack It With A Steak": Pescatarians are often sneered at by non-meat-eaters and meat-eaters alike, disdained because they won't commit to a side. Pescatarians are the bisexuals of the nutrition world.

#8 (Take A Peek): Kari's Diary: Dear Diary: I'm annoyed that there's yet another "Twilight" cover of Entertainment Weekly. This one has the whole vam fam, including the little girl. Haven't we as a society learned our lesson about casting little girls as vampires? In the 90s we had that whole Anne Rice thing, and now we're stuck with Kirsten Dunst.

#9 (Go For A Spin): From "Ways the Upper Peninsula of Michigan is Different Than Los Angeles": Population LA: 7 area codes in one county. UP: One area code in 16,452 square miles. Wild Night LA: Got drunk in Hollywood; had to avoid the cops. UP: A bear got into the trash; couldn't clean up til the bear left. Weekend Trip LA: Mammoth Mountain (5 hours) for great skiing. UP: Green Bay (4 hours) for a mall with two floors.

Message me here OR go right to PayPal (shardsofglassinyoureye@gmail.com) to buy some copies!