We Make Zines

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It's not too often I get reviewed.I send free zines out all the time,to all the zine reviewer's,but the fucking stuck up assholes don't say shit.I've given up.It's a waste of time.All they do is review their friend's shit,or something.But I did get a chance to put a 3 pager into Bird Hurdler (such a play on word's!),forcing people to see my shitty comic's,by putting them in between other peoples good comic's.So,of course I used the opportunity to get revenge on the world by subjecting the public to the rottenest comic known to man.Well,of course it got reviewed,which was hilarious.I was glad I spent 1 1/2 hour's drawing it.Stumptown Trade Review,which is read by NOBODY,wrote,"brash,offensive,over the top and full of the poor art and questionable storytelling that made underground comics such a hit...stand's out as being in the wrong place".The Comic's Reporter,which people probably actually see,said,"Many people may feel that it's obvious satire,while other's might think it didn't go far enough in staking out that territory.I'm in the former camp,and my main objection is more along the lines that the satire itself is fairly toothless and crude without without the energy that can come with exploring the obvious.The...peice contains enough old school,2nd generation energy that I didn't notice until it was done the whole endeavor was light on calories".That one kill's me.That guy put more thought into that review than I put in my last 11 comic's!I can't even figure out what he mean's by "the former camp"-I don't mean he's wrong,I mean I literally can't figure it out!I'm that stupid!You know,I'm not that smart.I can draw really good,and I'm a good storyteller,but I haven't got my G.E.D. yet.The comic they're talking about,Amerikan Imperialism Comix,is a return to the tradition of trying to offend as many people as possible.It's a taboo breaking,abuse of free speech,made to be shocking,period.Theres no big brain power going into it.IAt's supposed to make people go,"tch-why?The rest of the book was so good".The sad thing is,I never got a review,underground or otherwise,from anybody I mailed shit to,including MRR,Punk Planet,Zineworld,etc.,until I put out a profanity laced peice of offensive garbage.It remind's me of the first time I saw the rape issue of Answer Me,and I thought,"They've gone too far-this really pisses me off-what a piece of shit".Then I realized,that was thier point-to get an emotional response from me.They actually shocked me,which is practically impossible these day's.These reviewer's sound like the Cornell professor's called up at the 2 Live Crew obscenity trial-over intellectualizing a stupid joke,made to offend everybody for cheap laugh's.As soon as I look up "endeavor" in the Dictionary,I'll understand that review.I actually heard they have a dictionary on the computer,but I haven't figured out how to get to it yet.Not to mention the fact that it was a FREE comic,you ungrateful fuck's!Okay,I gotta go-I have to take a random U.A. now.

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Comment by bobby madness on November 3, 2012 at 2:39am

I think the reviewer's should pay like everyone else.Doing zine review's is just a scam to get free shit from struggling artist's who can't afford it.They don't review thing's on the basis of fairness or equality,or skill level-they only review trendy crap by their friend's,or by somebody who's already set up with a network.It's an abuse of power,and the reviewer's are passing judgement by denying exposure to outsider's.Most of the reviewer's suck,playing favorites and turning Zines into another conformist popularity contest.

Comment by Kyle Cloudfather on November 2, 2012 at 9:38pm

Damn! i know how you feel man! too many zines given away for nothing!

keep on trying though,its the only thing we can do!

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