We Make Zines

a place for zinesters - writers and readers

what NOT to do in zines (or anything)

man,i blew that studio up.i blew it to smithereens.my ex-roomates were pissed.it was over on 28th and burnside.i'd like to say it wasnt my fault,but it was.now everyone hates me.i had too much stuff crammed in there,i guess.i had my art table tanya made me.i had my set list collection on the wall.i had a bar,stocked with cheap well booze,and a bunch of cool bar schwag.i had my silk screen set up,and my airbrush,and all my art.i had my t.v.,which my roomates were always busting in to watch.i was trying to fuck with them,kind of,and i went to the wicca store and bought some random spells to freak them out.it was kind of funny at first.they were looking at me like i was nutso.i bought some more spells when i was drunk,because i made mega tips.then,something wierd happened.i got this one spell to make me more attractive to chycks-it was a really complex one,where i had to like sew an amulet into my coat.the weird thing was,it actually worked!i fucked like two devastating chycks that night,which was wierd coz i never get laid...then i threw one for luck,and i won at video poker that day-like two grand!i couldnt believe it.i went back up to that store and told that witch bytch to sell me all kinds of shit!she mumbled some kind of warning about power's and using shit for personal gain,or some shit,but i didnt care.well,it was some big-ass super spell but it took like ten candles,and you had to say say all these stupid poems and shit.i had to build this big altar,but it looked cool.i squirted like a gallon of all this kooky oil and shit on it,like i was supposed to.i actually put some extra on it,just for extra luck.well,i got done with my janitorial shift the next day,and went home (after drinking 4 stoli vanil white russians and 2 shots of yaeger) for a nap.i lit all the candles,as it was the 10th day of the spell,and i moved them all to the center of the alter...the only problem was it was soaked in love oil,and it was a cardboard box with a scarf over it.it started on fire while i slept,and i guess it made it's way over to the set lists,which set the bar on fire.i had 2 gallons of acetone for the silk screen shit next to the laquer thinner for to clean my airbrush,under some art.i'm not sure what it was,but i woke up and the walls were on fire.i grabbed whatever i could,and smashed through the burning door.i met the fire department on the way up.when i came out,i was wearing a kimono,and i looked to see what i grabbed on the way out,since i had alot of money and dope next to my bed.no dice-i was holding my cock ring and a hash pipe!that was about the time the cops smashed me into a car."was it a methlab,boy?",they yelled as the apartment re-exploded."it was witchcraft",was all i could think of.well,that got me a trip to the psycho ward.but they let me go after like an hour!so i got off,and never even got in any trouble.i seen one of my roomates last week,though.he would not say hi.

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