a place for zinesters - writers and readers
Reading: Infinite Jest, You've Got A Friend In Pennsylvania #6
Listening to: Saves The Day like it's 2006 up in this bitch
Drinking: ultra-milky earl grey bravo out of my special unicorn mug
Pondering: my friend that appears to have contracted typhoid, the practicality of crawling into bed and never leaving
It's weird to think that this time next week I'll probably be wandering the Miracle Mile in the dark and texting all my friends pictures of vaguely-lit blobs that could qualify as buildings if only I could stop moving for two seconds. I've never done a zine fest before, and that means I have to anxiety it to death before I can actually contemplate putting my butt on the train and going.
After I scrapped the idea of finishing both zines by this week, things started rolling a lot smoother, but then my friend that was doing illustrations was all LOL I'M GOING OUT OF TOWN!!! and so I was scrambling frantically at 11:00 last night to get the last five pages to her so she could draw stuff for them. My words come in spurts and I procrastinate and that creates situations where I'm laying on the floor swaddled in blankets going HNNNNNNNNNNNNGH. HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH. HNNNNGH. and basically sobbing about Smiths reissues because I have many feelings and I can't contain them because I know I should be being productive but am not.
I'm really proud of how everything turned out. I mean, I'm not TOTALLY thrilled about it, I think there's a lot of stuff that could have been written better or whatever, but I write everything in one take. No editing, no going back, no omitting unless it's truly the most terrible thing in the history of the universe, and no rewrites. A lot of this zine was just trying to articulate these feelings and get these scenes out on paper so I could get them out of my head and set them free...but because a lot of these scenes were "triggery" (as much as I hate the word) it was really difficult to even make myself write about them. I'd start writing, get halfway through the story, and then have to go call a friend and make some tea and go look at pictures of cats on the internet because I was freaking out so bad and needed somebody to remind me that the whole world isn't shitty like the stuff I'm writing about. But for the subject matter and the tense and person and distance and everything I was writing it in, I think I did pretty well. Whatever, it's not really for anyone anyway.
I've been doing zines for seven years now but no matter what I do, whether it's two pages or seventy-two, I hear my dad telling me that my aesthetic and content don't matter, the quality does. Even if I'm making unfortunate art decisions and writing about questionable things, he told me to do it in the absolutely tightest, most professional way possible. And that's how I do it, for seven years now...I feel alienated from the rest of the "zine community" sometimes because some people are like LOL BONG HIT LET'S DRAW SOME FUCKING SPIROGRAPHS D00D YEAH JUST PASTE THAT SHIT ON THERE WHO CARES and I'm over here agonizing over margins and dot-screening pictures so they'll print properly and resizing things nineteen times to get everything to look perfect. I love doing it that way, don't get me wrong, but I feel like maybe I'm missing out on some of the hilarious fun-filled ~freeform~ aspect of zinemaking because I'm concerned with getting it to be technically good to make up for any shortcomings in content.
Wow, I'm sure you totally wanted to read that, right?
Anyway, I still have to print the covers but the rest of it is collated and going off to the copy shop tomorrow! I'll also have more copies of Every Thug and All On Black available, so I'll update my page to actually include descriptions and trade info and then put up info for the new one when I get back from Chicago. (Hopefully, I won't be bringing any home, and will have to go copy more...)
Tomorrow is copy shop, post office, back to the lair to fold and staple, and then lazer tag. This is always my favorite part of the process.
See you in Chicago!