We Make Zines

a place for zinesters - writers and readers

although theres been some incredible articles written in zines lately-i mean,who ever knew how tough it was for white people out there-but one thing that has never been mentioned in any of these great,amazingly god like zines of mass distribution-is semiautomatic guns,and thier place in the zine world.now,most zines are devoted to way more important issues facing the world-like the author,or thier opinion,or thier sexuality,or the author,or,sometimes a zinester(or,"loser")might write about themself.other topics usually include   themself,themself,and,occasionaly,themselves.but what about guns?specifically semiautomatic guns?should you,as a zine maker,own a gun?and who,or what should you shoot?should zine conventions be riddled with machine gun fire?its a serious question,that begs for an answer.think about it-if everyone at the zine convention had a machine gun,it would be pretty cool.most zine conventions ive been to are incredibly succeptable to bear attacks.and hey-talk about empowerment!especially for the wymyn folk.believe me,nothing gets the point across to some emotionally abusive male bastard like whipping out an uzi.and if that doesnt make him stop abusing,pop a couple rounds off next to him.believe me,he will change his ways.or,say your in your local shitty ass rekkid store,and your like"hey,why dont you sell zines?",and thier like"it attracts too many shoplifters".you skulk away,dejected,hung-over,bisexual,destroyed.now come in that same shop with a fully loaded mini 14!believe me,that dirty skanky crab farm will make you a zine on the spot!theres another side to this argument,though.theres a stupid,wrong side that says,"hey man,uzi's dont belong in zines.zines are for me,and two people i like,period.zines are non violent,non racist,non sexist,non sexy non sequiters.non non non.nah nah na na,na na na na."but these are the same chumps who ruined in line skating-culture killers,banning passion-this groupthink is encouraged secretly by c.i.a mind control brainwave machines,which you can see on some of the telephone poles if you look close enough.the people who say semiautomatic guns dont belong in zines are the same people out there begging to get shot.why?because they're trying to kill us.we have to kill them first-but we cant.we'll have to wait them out.one things for sure-i might be totally tripping and paranoid,and i know its wrong to shoot people with a semiautomatic handgun.on the other hand,in the future,all those people i kill might become abusive rapists.so honestly,im doing the right thing.the whole thing is just rilly confusing!maybe i should have stuck with the revolver.maybe i dont need this cannon.i mean,its like a person chainsaw!maybe there is no place for uzi's in zines.maybe i should just relax,do a whippet,and stick a vibrator up my ass while singing the star spangled banner.may-be,my friend,may fuckin be.up next-chainsaws in zines-should everyone be hacked up with a stihl?you be the judge!later,interrogator!

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