a place for zinesters - writers and readers
Well,the other day I was typing my blog having a latte' at the cafe' (as alway's),just typing away,writing the usual stuff,about how boring zines are and how much band's suck and how hair gel used to really mean something.Well,this kid comes up and asks me if I'm Bobby Madness-I didn't really think much of it,so I said yeah.So then he asked me if I wanted to go meet this girl that really dug my comic's,and had been dying to meet me.Well,I'll admit it,I figured she was probably pretty "non-sexist,non-racist,and non-homophobic",if you know what I'm saying,so I got in his old beemer and fastened my seat belt.Well,next thing I know,he floors it,kicking me back in my seat so hard I pissed my pant's.Then,he stick's a fucking gun in my face while we're speeding over the Hawthorne Bridge."So you think zines are boring?Huh,motherfucker?",he scream's,running a red light and almost getting hit by a truck,which swerves and get's hit by a car.I barely had time to watch the exsplosion in my rearview mirror,and he takes the gun,point's it out the window,and starts shooting at a black car behind us!That car smashes into our rear bumper,even though we were going 85 miles an hour,just as we peak the hill.Spark's fly as we bottom out,and then,with his foot still on the accelorator,he scream's"Grab the wheel!".I do,and he pull's a grenade launcher from under the seat (I couldn't believe it)and fly's through the crowd's of eager shopper's,cut's through the parking lot at the VFW,and slam's on the brakes,sending my head smashing into the windshield.Skidding to a stop,he pull's out a folder with a new zine,one nobody's seen yet-in it is documentation about CIA infiltration of zines I thought were boring and stupid.Apparently,he's the only guy that has this information,and he's been trying to find someone to help him get it out for year's,but everyone was afraid they'd miss class,or thier girlfriend would get pissed.Well,I'm reading this,and it doesn't stop there-it goes into the supression of information and the promotion of division's in the scene (for lack of a better word) by a secret cabal of psychotic control freak's-a daring expose' of mind control,linking the highest echelon of government operatives to various people who are involved with self publishing.That made me shit my pant's.I was about to say "Holy fuck!",because,this would've blown the scene wide open,but before I could say shit,I heard a whizzing sound,like "pffffft-thwack!",and his head exploded into a pink mist,covering the unpublished manuscript with brain matter and hair and chunks of bone and stuff.Well,needless to say,I was pretty blown away.The cop's came up with thier gun's drawn,and dragged me out of the car,but after interrogating me (i denied everything,of course),they let me go.I'll probably get a probation violation,but that's it.Really though,the point is I guess I was wrong all along-zines aren't boring after all,even the new ones!Boy is my face red!