We Make Zines

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you know,we're only 11 minutes into the proposed madness boycott-(and i'd also like to note we havent sold a single comic in that time)and i've already thought of another reason to boycott,or womencott my comics-they incite violence.i'll tell you what happened,and you can judge it like judy.okay,last year at the portland zinefest,i came down to steal some beer and ideas.everybody was there-katy crazy,tree friend lee,zero and even joyce hitler and the chaos musketeers.so,anyway,i was chillin' out by the shitty ass teenage dinosaur table-thats actually a 2 foot space on a milk crate.so,like these mean looking like 98 pound psycho's in cardigans passed by me,and i thought i heard them muttering something like"sad-ass is more like it"and "he's the one that stole it"or something like that.well,i didnt think much of it because everybody hates me anyway.but then when i went around the corner to sell some oxy's to this eight grader,i hear this strange silent sound behind me.well,i fucking turn around and it was a biodeisel drive by.i had just handed the kid a madness zine to read,and these cats were like "die,madness zine readin' ass mutha fucka'"and sprayed him in the face with a supersoaker filled with pee.i barely had time to grab back the dope and money,when they sped off,a sticker fell off the bumper of thier dirty smelly non-polluting zine machine.it was a zine that will remain nameless,since i dont want to start infighting.lets just say its maximumly rock and rollish.anyways,later at the zinefest after hours everybody wanted more mdma,so i collected 4000 dollars and grabbed some zine hookers to make a run.rollin' hard in my volvo station wagon,pumping some yo la tengo,what do i see when i turn the corner-like six zinesters on fixed gear bikes,beating the shit out of some poor magazine subscription salesman.i guess he was on thier turf.so i grabbed an uzi out from under a copy of doris,and just opened fire,killing everybody,even the guy i was sticking up for.since then theres been probably 15 to 20 shootings concerning my zines at comicstores,zine fests,crack houses and public rest rooms.i mean,what people need to do is stop the violence.alot of time in the zine scene theres alot of pressure to hurt people,and while it's funny if it's me,what if it was somebody cool that got hurt?what if a really hot girl that liked all the right bands got hurt?then people would care.what if some rich zine making college girl from vermont scraped her knee at the zinefest?it would be a disaster.and the last thing we need are madness zines,roaming free,saying hi to old people on the street.my zines should be where they belong-in the jail that closed down because the state is broke.so please,please,everyone everywhere-boycott my zines,blogs,myspace website,comic related items and custom airbrush t shirts.and also boycott my great record cover illustrations and e-bay items.

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Comment by FiftySticks on April 15, 2011 at 1:48pm
Unappreciative pricks man, that's what I say. You're running a megasale on topoftheline madness. These people better wise up then stock up.
Comment by bobby madness on April 15, 2011 at 8:13am
thanks,man.its rare for me to get encouragement on this site.i usually get lectured.so i really appreciate it!your page is cool.
Comment by FiftySticks on April 15, 2011 at 7:01am
bobby madness, I am a fan. Oh yesssss, I'm a fan.

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