Heh, I'm a turd. After doing not very much promotion of mélange #2, I've started work on mélange #3. Yeah, the mood found me. I feel more confident about, well... myself, what I want to say, and how I want to say it.
mélange - the first one - was clumsy. I was struggling to find my feet, creatively, artistically - it had been a long time since making artsy stuff just for myself. And there was a heap of stressful things going on too - home loans, work stress, frustrations at people - all at once, big shitpiles.
I know I have a habit of clamming up when feeling overwhelmed. Designing is never a problem in those times, but I really struggle to find the right words; which probably came through in this zine. Seeing the different responses has been interesting; some readers felt it, others didn't. And I got a totally "wtf was she thinking, omgfullofhate" review from a Sticky Institute writer. BAO BAO.
It's a bit sad when people miss the point, but that's just life. For me, it's been a huge highlighter of why you should do things, deep down, for yourself - because there's no telling whether the world will love or hate your work; if you're going to do it, you may as well enjoy it. :)
mélange #2 was a more deliberate effort. I had a sense of what I wanted to say, even though I was still unclear on how to say it. I also wanted to share the food & drink related things that would send my head off on a flight. It's embarassing - really simple things will trigger big metaphysical trains of thought that can last for days, sometimes invading my sleep. Please don't read that and think I'm secretly bragging, cos that's not what this is about - I'm proud of my mind working that way, but at the same time, it can be isolating and damaging. But I won't go into that today.
sensualist was for exploring how it's okay to enjoy delicious things and have fun... and maybe absolve my guilt about being an indulgent person.
So now mélange #3. To be continued.