a place for zinesters - writers and readers
A friend got back into zines recently after a hiatus and that announcement sparked something inside of me -- zines! What the hell have I been doing with the past couple of years, when's the last time I even TOUCHED a zine, let alone wrote one? Dusty typewriter, dried up glue sticks, stickers and paper and magazine scraps wasted, thoughts wasted, letters unwritten and long-distrance friends abandoned, I mean what the FUCK?
It was like magic, getting back into it and starting with these fiddly little origami zines, the content real but nothing important at all, just MAKING, creating, cutting, copying, folding, fingers black from the ink, nail polish worn off from flattening the folds, sticky spots on the table from the glue. Stapler screaming with joy. The power of it all making me feel like part of myself had been resurrected, like everything right in my life was amplified, made even better, like the miniscule shitty parts didn't matter and I could find a way to share this with everyone if I wanted to.
I was reading zines too, swallowing them whole and digesting the little bastards, staples and all. I figured, time to get down to business and create some real content, spill out the my soul in that old cut and paste fashion.
But when I started writing, something wrong started to happen. Maybe I'd been reading too much, I'd been reading the wrong parts of my old collection, I'd been getting back into the scene via the wrong entrances. Some wicked part of my brain wanted to write sad, mopey bullshit, over-analyze my deficiencies, think of ways I'd been hurt and record nothing but lingering negativity because... this is all some zinesters focus on. This is what a chick zinester should write about, right? Let's be politically correct, emotionally correct, physically correct --I'm an auditor, I mean, how else can I be correct? Surely there are more ways. Think, think, complain.
BULLSHIT. I started writing about how I'm about to turn 30 and things I'm unsure about -- what my life adds up to so far, whether I've ever really gone wrong or everything I thought was wrong was leading to this most right moment -- how exactly I ended up here. And thinking back over the past ten years I got glimpses of things I've done, people I've known, people I've BEEN, and I remembered what it's all about.
CELEBRATE, CREATE, DESTROY, CELEBRATE A LITTLE MORE.
Just hope I have enough glue for all of this energy now.