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Business practices vary from culture to culture.  In Japan, it's customary to bow towards a new client upon introduction.  In India, leather briefcases are unacceptable.  Likewise, the world of Gigglebot distro has business practices all its own.

 

A typical retail transaction is generally pretty simple:  I give you money, you give me stuff.  But at Gigglebot distro, the business customs are different. If you visit a foreign country for business, it's good to know their business practices.  Likewise, if you are to experience a satisfying transaction with Gigglebot, there are a few rules you should know:

 

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GIGGLEBOT BUSINESS CULTURE:  A PRIMER

 

1) Customers are annoying.  They do silly things like place orders, pay for them immediately via Pay Pal, and then actually expect you to ship the items they paid for!  Where do they learn this stuff?

 

2) Decision tree:  Does the customer have a question about the status of her order, as she hasn't received it yet and it's been two weeks? If yes, lie.  Tell her you'll put it in the mail tomorrow.  There.  That ought to take care of that.

Note:  It doesn't matter that your website says you will ship in 24-48 hours.  Your customers know that's just pillow talk.

 

3) How to profit:  Begin as you would any typical transaction.  First, take the customer's money.  However, instead of reciprocating with the items she ordered, keep the money and keep the items!  This results in a net profit of 100%.

 

4) Uh oh!  Someone's entered a Pay Pal dispute against you because you never shipped her order. She wrote to you four times before entering the dispute, and you ignored every e-mail.  What should you do?  If you said don't bother responding to the dispute. . .you're right!  

 

5) The customer elevates the dispute to a Pay Pal claim.  You should: A) ship the order.  B) apologize to the customer.        C) explain to Pay Pal what the delay was. D) Lie to PayPal and tell them the item is in transit. Create a bogus United States Postal Service tracking number to give the lie an allure of truth.  ANSWER:  D

 

6) Above all--NEVER communicate with your customer!  If you do that, she might do something irritating like demand an explanation, or worse, the actual items she paid for!  Note:  If you have an Etsy shop, communicate lots with those customers while ignoring your zine customer. This makes your zine customer feel unique.

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Lies, theft, and complete disregard for the customer:  these business practices are what you can expect when you shop at Gigglebot distro.  If you understand and accept these business customs, go ahead and place an order with Jess and Gigglebot.  If you like to get the stuff you ordered in return for your money, do not place an order with Gigglebot.

 

P.S.  If Jess (Jessaruh here on WMZ) would like to respond to this account of our intentionally-failed transaction, I'd be eager to hear a response.  If anyone knows her, please alert her to this post.  But don't try to contact her by e-mail--that girl's impossible to get.

UPDATE, February 24, 2012: gigglebot.net is down, done and dusted. I'm not sure what prompted her to finally take down her fraudulent site, but I bet it took an act of the federal government--maybe related to the postal fraud in the Pay Pal claim. I noticed her Etsy page is also gone.

Views: 156

Tags: business, distro, etsy, gigglebot, jessaruh

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Comment by Kari Tervo on February 24, 2012 at 11:41pm

UPDATE: gigglebot.net is down, done and dusted. I'm not sure what prompted her to finally take down her fraudulent site, but I bet it took an act of the federal government--maybe related to the postal fraud in the Pay Pal claim. I noticed her Etsy page is also gone.

Comment by Kari Tervo on June 27, 2011 at 2:21pm
Thanks for the link.  I think that my situation is different than that of the original poster on that thread.  Jess lied to me *twice* and went so far as to create a tracking number for a package she knew she would never send.  That goes beyond mere absentmindedness on the part of the distro owner.  Furthermore, she boasts of a 24-48 hour turnaround on all online orders.  She clearly did not fulfill that promise in any respect. It took me two months of vigilance to get my money back.
Comment by James N. Dawson on June 27, 2011 at 2:15pm

This situation is a little different than yours, since I haven't paid for it yet, but I ordered a magnetic sign for my truck THREE WEEKS ago, and it's still not done.  Which is especially ironic given the business name alludes to it's "speed".  (I don't want to give out the name, just in case anybody wants to snitch on me.) I almost want to say WHAT'S TAKING YOU SO LONG!!!?, but I'm afraid to ruffle any feathers. (I'm a terminally nice coward.)

You might be interested in the discussion we had a couple years ago about somebody with a situation similar to yours: http://wemakezines.ning.com/forum/topics/etiquette-and-professionia...

The consensus seemed to slightly favor the would-be seller, so good luck!

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