We Make Zines

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drug problems @ portland zine symposium

one subject that needs to be openly discussed this year is the problem of drugs at portland zine symposiums...namely,the problem of availability.thats why this year,in conjunction with big louie and johhny the torch,a drug table will be set up around the corner from the unpopular geek-fest.portably operating out of a beat up chevy,several varieties of toxic yet awesome chemicals and mind expanding psychedelics(or reasonable facsimilies therouve)will be offered for perusal or purchase.several representatives of portlands thriving drug community will be there to help out,answer questions,offer free legal advice and self defence tips.a network of cellphones will keep police at bay.fresh batches of x and cb2 were made specifically for this event.i know your next question-how could a sexy cool artist and zine god like myself manage such an incredible,amazing,cute great awesome feat like dealing drugs out of the trunk of my car while skipping out on child support?well,my friend,i cant get all the credit.it takes a community to turn a profit on this dope.members of the hispanic community deserve praise for the fantastic job they've done smuggling black tar heroin and chrystal meth up through the border this year.ive known alot of great zine artists,but very few have the interest and devotion to put a pound of zines up thier ass at customs.plus,the rainbow festival came through with some awesome shrooms,and,if theres any left,some dmt painted raspberry leaves will be available,for about the price of an issue of mcsweeneys.portlands drug community welcomes all zine losers,i mean makers.from 1.25 whippets in the 24 hour porno porno store convienantly located within crawling distance,to the wide variety of prescription drugs and medical marijuana facilities that'll sell to anybody,this non-sexist non-racist coalition of partners and civic youth organizations (including the gutter children posse and the 122nd avenue marauders)are more than ready to help visitors navigate the complex world of self medication,and all it has to offer,as long as nobody tells the coppers.we are also proud of our connections with portlands thriving gblmft community,having unloaded mountains of ketamine,crank,and good old weed on them over the years.several members of the drug dealing community have experimented sexually in and out of prison,and i think its refreshing that thier live and let live attitude permeates the work we do.purity is consistent,and free hypodermics and bleach are brought from outside in every day at 2.so hey-dont be a stranger!whether you want to come down and sample some drugs,or shake your finger at us and get your fucking ass stomped,it'll be a welcoming fun enviroment for all involved.remember-not all zinesters are closed minded church lady chumps who write about recipes-some are actually interesting.just remember-no fronts,big blunts,and stinky...shoes will be everywhere,with "cool out"services offered by hooper detox-for free!see you there!

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