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a man without a woman is like a junky without a stolen bicycle

my commitment to environmentalism has always been,well,great,to put it mildly.ive done salvage and recycling and metal theft since 1980.my hippy mom made me pick up litter on the first earth day in 73 or 4.i was a hot rodder who wrecked beater cars drunk in the stray cat days,and quit driving for 12 years and worked on bikes instead.in short,even though i may kill people,environmentally,im a saint.so,of course,i know everything about bike culture too.i was a messenger for 4 years,and its my primary mode of transport,with a working class forced economic twist.see,when i first started biking,i never bought hot bikes.i knew it was bad karma,especially after the hot bike i bought got stolen.i reserved special hatred for bike thieves,and vowed to beat their heads in with a krypto.people though were usually pretty cool though,even in amazing urban scumholes like oakin,nuevo yorque or sanfrisco.i locked my shit up all the time,but i still had really good luck holding onto bikes.i figured it was because my bikes were so cool,even thieves wouldnt fuck with them,since it was obvious i took care of them.i supported all this feel great about bikes jank,for real.a proletarian restructuring of transportation,one bike at a time.well all that changed after living in the teensy fishing village i live in now.i had 3 motherfucking kickass bikes ripped off here,as soon as i moved here.the first was a yellow boys schwinn with a rare 2 speed kick-shift coaster brake back rim-the best cruiser ever.i had just gotten the drivetrain dialed in,for goddess sake.they clipped it and every other schwinn on campus in one night.of course the cops would catch them,uh,NEVER.so i re-vowed to re-kill bike thieves,and luckily fell into my roomates cannondale for only 175 bucks.thankfully i could still commute to work.it was awesome riding in style for a change,on a modern lightwieght racing bike.for,like two days till some tweaker nabbed it in front of the 24hour stop and rob.i couldnt fucking believe it.2 weeks later i finally scraped up a beater girls scwinn 3spd inna hub to use.it was embearassing,and sort of like riding a soloflex,but after some custom parts,3 days of elbow grease and sweat,and a custom paintjob,it was good to go.i also borrowed my homeys 40 dollar krypto for his motorcycle,so id be safe.it was laying right where i locked up my now stolen bike when i got off work.at the airport.after the busses quit running.i made it back downtown at sunrise,just as they started selling beer,thank alanis morrisette.when i got outside petersons,some moron left his 10 speed unlocked.this city owes me,i figure,so i stole it.

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