lesh's Page

The infinite has been more important than the here and now, but that is changing. I just want to find out about people at the moment. I live to experience things. You can be a hermit and make things sacred, explore that sacredness. You can learn how to use your mind, follow the visions. You can mix it up with dodgy people and enlightening people, be horrified, disturbed, you can open your heart as wide as possible.

... sort of know a couple of grand theories. History, western culture, expression perhaps.
I think I am patient, I want to go deep, but in many things I go for quantity of info/learning rather than focus on one thing (like the combined studies course I'm doing). I want to do as much as possible at once but I am coming to terms with the fact that I'm young and have to calm down a bit.
art, activism, extreme metal, poetry
derelict places, breaking the bubble of society, existentialism, primitive things, artificial delusion, up/down/heaven/hell/space/the depths/earth cult/sky cult

I was reading my book about proto-nazi's inner worlds last night. They might not have developed egos. They might have gone an entirely different course to the normal Oedipal thing! They would be like... Why's everything threatening? Why does it feel like everyone's pressing on me? Am I really 'I''? What's going on??
Maybe the riot police feel like this. :(

My God there is so much to life. Yet everywhere there is waste of it.
Come, let's dance and scream, flick the blood that pumps through our veins in the faces of the grey villains. Psychedelic experiences, S+M noir, static infinite stars, spiritual transcendence, empathy with the insane, understanding of violence, loving sincerity. I need to get the ball rolling, there are no excuses.