How Personal?

[Amy]

I wrote a zine a few days ago that was a bunch of letters to people that won't read them- things I wished I could say to people that died, to ex-friends, a fictional character I created years ago, and my stuffed rabbit. (I felt like I owed it an apology. It's spend years under the bed.)

Motsly before I've tried to keep my zines more funny then anything else. The one on lies isn't shaping up to be that way, but that's a little differnet.

Is printing personal stuff in a zine mostly a matter of how comfortable you feel sharing things? How much do you usually share in your zines?

[ciaraxyerra]

i'd say it's just a matter of your own personal comfort level. just remember that we now live in a world of zine archivists, & zines you publish today might still be kicking around a zine library somewhere in twenty years, & who knows who will stumble across them? when i write something really personal, i sit with it for a while & think about how i would feel if some day i had a kid who read it. or a new romantic partner who didn't know me that well. or a boss. then i publish what i feel comfortable with. i think it's worth pushing your own limits a little bit & not erring too much on the side of caution...but it's also important to be smart about what you're doing. limiting your distribution a little & not giving away too many details about the identities of people you are writing about are both ways to minimize potential fall-out.

[Amy]

Yeah... I guess if you're insulting someone you can just make them an initial. Unless they have a really common first name.

[False Start Distro]

I'm having issues with this right now.

I wrote a lot of short fiction-style (as in, they aren't fiction at all but written like prose, not really in the typical perzine style) vignettes over the summer about falling in love with my boyfriend. There was a lot about personal stuff between us, including sex. I felt it was done and was really happy with it after editing it for a few months. Shortly after I felt I was done, my boyfriend was diagnosed with leukemia. So basically I wrote a whole other set of vignettes in less than a month about our relationship after the diagnosis.

I addressed my boyfriend as "you" in it and changed all names of the other people, however, if someone who I wrote about in it were to get their hands on it, it would be obvious who I was writing about, etc. So I'm still struggling with putting it out.

On the one hand, I really want to because I think it's my best piece of writing yet and I think it's important for us (writers, artists, what have you) to create and express the things that humanity feels but often doesn't want to say aloud. On the other hand, I'm still apprehensive about it because it IS so intensely personal.

So, no real advice for you. Just wanted to say I'm in the same boat, I guess!

[Amy]

I'm so sorry. how's he doing?

I think I will print it. It's highly unlikely that anyone I know will read it, and the people I am writing about in unflattering terms are just an initial. And four of seven are either dead or nonexistant. Two of them were more angry then anything, and one was just... pain. I think if those three people managed to get their hands on it they might know it was them, but I haven't spoken to any of them in years. So... it's unlikely they would. And to be honest it would be a little bit of a relief if they did read it.

[False Start Distro]

Oh he's doing really well right now, thanks! Luckily it's a form of leukemia that can be kept in check with a pill once a day, and as long as he doesn't become resistant to it, he'll be around for many years to come!

Amy said:

I'm so sorry. how's he doing?

I think I will print it. It's highly unlikely that anyone I know will read it, and the people I am writing about in unflattering terms are just an initial. And four of seven are either dead or nonexistant. Two of them were more angry then anything, and one was just... pain. I think if those three people managed to get their hands on it they might know it was them, but I haven't spoken to any of them in years. So... it's unlikely they would. And to be honest it would be a little bit of a relief if they did read it.

[Amy]

Yeah that can be annoying. But you don't want it to be a big sob-fest either.

[Amy]

Or a pity party? There are a few zines when people seem to be looking for someone to pity them. And while I do it can take awa yfrom teh content.

[Randy Spaghetti]

I actually lost a really good friend because of something that I wrote in a zine. It wasn't even that personal. His interpretation of the events described in the story were different and he took offense. I learned a lesson and realized that any time I write about friends, I let them proof read it first. I don't see it as compromise or censorship, just good tact and enhancing one's perspective.

[Amy]

That's a good point. The people I would write about arn't friends anymore, but still. I never thought of it that way.

[sandy]

I try very hard to avoid sharing something personal if the 'secret' belongs to someone else too. But other than that, I think personal is okay. I share as much as I can in my zines, but try to be a bit diplomatic about it because other people have feelings too. :) I find sometimes problems aren't caused by what you share, but by how you share it.

For example, saying stuff like, "X is a bad person; he did [this] to me," comes across very different to when you say, "I can't help but lose faith in people when they do [this]." But that's just normal communication - it isn't limited to zines. I think a lot of zine-related drama can be avoided just by paying more attention to how we present our feelings.

[riotgrrrlaz]

I think that it all depends on the comfort level of the writer. But I am always careful not to mention specific names. Also, consider the tone of your writing...is it angry...is it placing blame... how will others interpret what you are tryinig to say?

A lot of the personal stuff I write about is actually written from a fictional stand point so it does not pin point any one individual.

[Amy]

True. I guess... one of them is angry, the others not so much. But I only refer to that person as an initial.