any recomendations on zines regarding sexual assault/abuse?

[mycrimescene]

Recently a very close cousin of mine admitted to being molested by her mother's boyfriend. She is 14 and has been to counseling but didn't say much about what happened which is also the reason we weren't able to press charges on her abuser. I haven't noticed any change in her personality at all and I do not want to push her to talk about anything because I feel if she feels right saying something she will but I kind of feel like she just doesn't want to talk to me about it because I am so close to her or doesn't want us to worry about her. Are there any zines you would recommend I could give to her? I thought reading someone else's story could maybe help her out.

[Adrian Fynch]

I might have some recommendations for you but I'd have to go through my collection and I'm out of town at the moment so it'll have to wait until January. One that springs to mind is "It's not Just Boys' Fun #4" which is about abuse.
http://zinewiki.com/It%27s_not_just_boys%27_fun

[mycrimescene]

thanks!

[NicoleIntrovert]

Support by Cindy Crabb
Ask First by Chyenne

Both are available in my distro: http://www.clickclackdistro.com

Not only will these help her... but YOU need to read them because they talk about how to support survivors of assault.

[Billy Da Bunny]

i was just going to suggest Ask First. it's helpful to all involved in a situation like this. If you meet/speak directly with Cheyenne, she might have other suggestions as well.



NicoleIntrovert said:

Support by Cindy Crabb
Ask First by Chyenne

Both are available in my distro: http://www.clickclackdistro.com

Not only will these help her... but YOU need to read them because they talk about how to support survivors of assault.

[mycrimescene]

thanks for all the suggestions. I'm definitely going to read these with her

[Milo]

QZAP has a number of zines that have "sexual abuse" as keywords. While we mostly focus on queer zines, some of the stories may be universal. The zines at QZAP are all free and downloadable as PDF files, too.

http://tinyurl.com/ylz9uap

[riotgrrrlaz]

I think it is great of you to help her out. The aftermath of abuse is often the most difficult for people to get through. As an abuse survivor myself, I know that the hardest thing for me to do was to talk about what happened to me ...I always felt embarassed, ashamed and even as though it was my fault. Of course I know better now, but 8 years ago I was not as informed and educated as I am today regarding abuse and what resources are available to abuse survivors.

[ohmymaybee]

support by cindy crabb. I really love her anthology too because she writes a bunch about it over the years and it's all there compiled into one amazing book.

It's people like you that really make my heart feel big.

[thugs of the heart]

i second/third/fourth the recommendations of cindy's support zine. it made me cry and feel happy and justified all at the same time. it made me feel ok with saying that i'd been sexually assaulted, and now it's something i feel comfortable talking about and helping other people with.

obviously, not one thing is going to suddenly make everything feel better [my partner at the time was also incredibly patient in helping me through those things, as were a few close friends], but it is wonderful that you are reaching out for/with her. it's so important.

megan

[Tiara Shafiq]

Thank you for this question. I too recently survived assault (though my perp was female and it's sometimes difficult to find resources that aren't so politically bent on "this is a gender crime") so I'll check out the zines here.

<3

[Elaine]

Sometimes it takes years before they say anything (I've had two friends confide that this happened to them). The really bad downside is that the abuser gets away with it and goes on to more and more victims.... My grandfather was an abuser of kids, the whole family knew it (they could count over 30 neices, nephews that he touched) but it was considered a family secret and NOBODY ever reported the guy and he kept doing it till he died at age 78. In today's age--I'm heavily in favor of doing a police report, regardless of how the victim feels. I'm sorry.

[Adrian Fynch]

I partially agree with this. I do think something should be done so that the perpetrator can't keep doing what they're doing, but I also don't agree with the way it's handled in courts or by the police. Also, I've seen two instances of communities trying to deal with the matter internally, and people seem unable to keep their own personal issues out of the way when trying to sort the issue at hand out, and it has become something of a witch hunt in both cases.

Not that I'm completely against a witch hunt necessarily, but it depends on the circumstances. And even then, negative reinforcement seems like it just makes things worse in terms of trying to teach better behaviour and values. It's really hard to protect the survivor [and sometimes even the perpetrator] when trying to deal with these situations and I don't think it's as cut and dry as filling out a police report every time.

Elaine said:

Sometimes it takes years before they say anything (I've had two friends confide that this happened to them). The really bad downside is that the abuser gets away with it and goes on to more and more victims.... My grandfather was an abuser of kids, the whole family knew it (they could count over 30 neices, nephews that he touched) but it was considered a family secret and NOBODY ever reported the guy and he kept doing it till he died at age 78. In today's age--I'm heavily in favor of doing a police report, regardless of how the victim feels. I'm sorry.